Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
