when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
