and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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