I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
