I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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