Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
