btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sext me about skeletons
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
