hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
