Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
