So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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