how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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