Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
