we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
