don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
