You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize