I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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