3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
