never play flip cup with pint glasses
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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