boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
