Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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