At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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