is your mom at the bar?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
