3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
