If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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