white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
