Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
