I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
