Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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