i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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