she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
