were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
