Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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