We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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