I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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