its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
