Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
