A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
