we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize