dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize