In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
