Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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