Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
