I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
MIDGETS
????
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
