After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
