I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
