you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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