I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize