he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
