You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
