We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
