woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
