I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
