She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
