it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
