I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
