If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize